The salve of indomitable

140829195756-22-women-in-comedy-restricted-horizontal-large-galleryI outgrew myself, watching stillness

Now I am

Blanketed in straining waistlines

An unusual feeling that thrums my vanity

Like a badly played guitar

Because wasn’t I the girl who refused to change?

And then there was the road and its damage

I walked it timid, my feet bled

I saw no end

I may

Regain the attitude of the untouched

In due course

As memory befuddles

Twins of angst and fear

For the soft skin of recovery is a mockingbird

She sings hopeful

Strikes down what I took for granted

The old me

Always the same size and circumference

Thinking she was invulnerable

Now she trembles slightly

If her stomach lurches

When it slaps suddenly, the salve of indomitable

You spend as much time picking up the pieces

Of what you thought safe and sound

Anxiety is your friend in the search

For that girl you were before

Now I can’t fit into myself

I don’t know who remains

But if you’ll lend me enough to purchase

A replacement …

Advertisements

Skins of fear

08c50a5ff98e430af4bc56e4b6b80bc6Surely this is the year

We put our skins of fear aside

They are already well flayed and comfortable to wear

And step into

Shoes that do not yet fit

But if we hold on

Shaking in place

Tempted to turn and run

Back to the oppressive we know so well

If we learn to be

This new size

These new shoes

Lending us the necessary dexterity

To skip away from excuses

Vanquish the tendency

To think we only have

One tread
One mark on this Earth

And cannot instead

Inherit the wind

We stay in that diminished moment

Growing cold though the sun shines

You have to satisfy yourself

Fill in the edges

Pick your ink

Color the world

You have to lift yourself up

Nobody else can love you as much

From the cradle to the grave

There’s one friend who won’t leave

If you learn to stop hating yourself

Movement

Is an elixir

Be it in your arms

The first time we danced

Or from your house

The last time I looked back

And as we leave pieces of ourselves

Like a photo album of torn skin

We are surely moving forward

Learning again

The lightness

Of being

Starting today

Bring might to the stage

Stop selling yourself

For pieces of flint and stone

Starting today put away childish things

Voices from the past echoing

A clamor of our downs and undoing

You’re not that clown face anymore

Not the one easily convinced you have no worth

By hellbent egotists intent on keeping you low

That you might never know

The sunlight of your parts

When arranged and strong outlast

Their fickle mercurous passions

For the fat headed go home

Take off their emperor’s clothes

Naked they see the transparency of their game

Is to their shame, their confidence relied upon

Keeping you down

Now you know

Let nobody crush your sights

There is magic in your being

They’ve been keeping quiet for fear

If you knew your worth you’d

Not need them

And their neglect of you

It’s not enough to have scraps

You are deserving

And beautiful

Now that you know

It’s impossible to be caged

By the whittling of simmering minds

Who would deny your purpose with their own agenda

Destroy the child, ruin the man

Or so it goes

Until emerging from dark the child knows

He is made of stars

Breathe deeply and have courage

Little one

For your life is equal to anyone’s

And this veil of sorrow is not your inheritance

You

Are meant

For greater purpose

Now is the time

To claim yourself