Mental Health Month “Just die already”

Another blogger is to thank for today’s subject because she wrote a superb piece about what it felt like to have someone wish you dead when you are depressed.

I’m going to carry the subject on and share my own story.

Many times we hear in teen movies when someone has threatened suicide, some awful person say something to the effect of; “Go on then! Just die already!”

But what if that actually happens?

In my story a friend of mine experienced this that. This is his story.

Steven was 15 years old, good-looking, dyslexic and with a disruptive home life he had begun to experience the first signs of clinical depression as he came into puberty and he was turning to marijuana to numb his feelings.

Boys of that age tend not to be very responsive to therapy and this was the case with Steven when his mom took him to talk to someone after he failed most of his exams and began to wear a lot of black. It turned out Steven wanted to be a Goth (Emo) for a while and that led to him being picked on by others, which only exacerbated his feelings.

One may ask; Why choose something that is going to set you further apart from others? But that is exactly what people often do, it’s as if they have to act out how they feel inside, and they often do it unconsciously.

Steven met a girl three years older than him, she was mentally ill (Bipolar) and really beautiful and he had a huge crush on her. They did some drugs together including LSD that he had never tried before. During his ‘trip’ the beautiful girl had sex with him. He wasn’t sure how to feel about this first time, he felt both violated and excited and flattered and then guilty for feeling such opposing feelings. He didn’t really understand what he felt and when he had feelings of upset about it, he would berate himself because he worried it meant there was something wrong with him for not enjoying the experience.

He ended up getting VD (sexually transmitted disease) from her and he had to go to the clinic, his mom found out, his sister found out, even someone at school whom he had confided in, told everyone else and soon he was taunted even more at school. He was treated for it and over it, but the legacy of this carried on, with taunts of “VD Steven” being hurled at him.

Soon afterward Steven tried killing himself, he slit his wrists. He cut them side-ways not downward not realizing this was the less effective method, he bled a lot and ended up in ER where he was stitched up. The nurse was rude to him and made him feel like he was in the wrong for what he did and wasting resources. His mom was hysterical and angry, his father said nothing, his sister told him that he was weak. Two weeks later he returned to school and because it was Summer wore shorter sleeves, others saw his wrists and soon it became known what he tried to do.

Soon the taunts turned to; “Why didn’t you succeed you fucking idiot”

Steven tried an overdose the next time.

Around this time I met him and supported him back to a better place, along with some of his other friends who were not part of the campaign against him. It was his friends who told his parents not to guilt-trip him and explained what had really been going on.

If Steven had not had those friends to this day I believe he would have succeeded in his suicide attempts.

This for me is another example of the clear-cut connection between how people respond to mental illness and / bad situations and how this can push someone already vulnerable to take their own life (or attempt it). Parents should be aware of this and educate other siblings in how to approach the subject where they are not inadvertently making things worse. The best intentions in the world can come out wrong.

It really can save lives and sharing real-stories of real life people who have literally been saved can demonstrate to all of us the importance of how we treat each other. There should never be anything okay about telling anyone, suicidal or not, that their life does not have worth, or that they should go ahead and kill themselves.

Advertisements

Mental Health Month

Fortunately quite a few people are making time for this important subject. Raising awareness.

Before you click off thinking; “I’ve heard this before / I know this already” consider the following;

  1. If you have not suffered from a mental health issue you’re in the minority

2. More people die from mental health influenced factors than anything else

3. There is today more depression in the western hemisphere than ever before and our answer is to medicate using medication that is poorly proven to resolve depression and was only ever meant as a temporary solution, with therapy a rare and restricted ‘luxury’

4. We are cutting back so many mental health resources we now have less than we did in 1970, yes that means we’re going backwards not forward

5. Whilst some mental health issues are better known and understood today than 40 years ago, the terrible truth is … they are judged just as much as they were before people knew more about them and those who suffer from mental illness are often pushed to breaking-point by others who see mental-illnesses as a “choice” even by carelessly chosen words.

Words like – Depression is looking back / anxiety is looking forward / wellness is in the present.

People may say things like ‘snap out of it’ and be well meaning even but imagine saying that to someone who has cancer?

The implied condemnation / judgement / criticism or just put-down in many ‘helpful’ comments furthers the progression of the disease.

Ultimately mental health is seen as a sign of character. If you are mentally ill you have a weak character. If you are not mentally ill you have a strong character. Follow the progression of that.

Strength does not come into whether someone is mentally ill or not, any more than if someone has breast cancer. But like blaming a smoker for their lung cancer, most people see mental illness as something that someone can change ‘if they just tried’ and more of a character flaw, a negativity, a bad attitude, than a crippling, life-reducing disease.

Still think we don’t need to talk about mental illness?